Sorry I Missed Your Message

For some time I've been getting nudges to write poetry again. It's been years. But recently, on retreat, after a session where we were challenged to see our lives as the celebration God does, I sat outside on a picnic table next to the woods and wrote this one. Still a rough draft but here goes:

You have a message for me
One you've been streaming in reams and beams
All of my life.
There is a party in your Voice
But I haven't joined it,
A dance in your Eyes
But I'm out of step with it
Not because I am stubborn
Or proud but because I've been veiled from The Knowing
That there's been a celebration on the earth
For the likeness of me.
Forgive me Lord for the limp that makes me stumble over myself
And the ones I most love
And those I could lead.
Forgive me for clinging so long to the me that wears people out,
Cuts them off, writes them off.
Well I know you do forgive
And have forgiven
And will
But I must say it to somehow make it so
And keep saying it.
Forgive me for not knowing me
The one you fashioned with painstaking care
Bound in love
The truest best me
That like a flare shot skyward in the night
Hangs bright, bold, gleaming.